Although I hate hesitation very much, and I don't like those hesitated people, I have the sickness oh hesitation when it comes to big decisions, or at least those that I see them big at the time of taking the decision.
But what makes a decision big? that is the question. I know that in some cases it's easy to make a U turn and change your path, but even in this case it will not be a very easy decision. I always believed that the best decision is that that can be changed easy in sense that it's flexible and doesn't have great impacts.
In some cases we say what if the decision I made was not correct? It's not a big deal I can then leave what I have choosed and return to the other alternative, but the problem is that leaving a chosen way is not always easy and the other alternative(s) is/ are not always available and waiting for u to know that they were the best for u.
I've just seen a phrase today that I feeled very much; "Life is the art of drawing.. Without an eraser. So.. be careful what u draw".
But what I think is that although we don't have an eraser but we can make the line we made wrongly a stem for a new flower.
And I comfort myself by saying that it's fate more or less, as the poet said "Kotebat 3allyna 7'ottan f mashaynaha" or "It's steps that was wrote for us so we stepped them". But then I reply to myself that this doesn't mean that we don't have to think, but we should do our best in trying to find the best choice and make the optimum decision, but we shouldn't stress ourselves if we really did our best to investigate in the correctness of the decisions we are to make, because we are human, and human may make mistakes and that's normal and we shouldn't repent as long as we did our best in thinking.
But my problem is that period of thinking in which I try to do my best :)))
And another sound inside me that is the source of my worry, when I try to comfort myselfy, it comes up and ruins all comfort: "What if u made ur life a series of wrong decisions?". A very pessimistic sound. isn't it?
I am very confused, tired and thus very sad :(((
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