I was shocked when I found that the last time I talked loudly in my dear blog... was nearly 2 years ago.
This proves that I can't complete my life without it.. because it's the only thing available to me all the time and will understand me like I am ...
Ok... Let me talk now about why do I feel like writing to my blog.
I discovered yesterday... that I have not been cured from the relation that has been terminated from 6 years.. yes 6 years.. I was shocked as well... Time flies and our life is consumed too quickly.
Let me confess that I still have feelings towards that person, I opened our chat logs yesterday, and like I opened Pandora's box ... I waked up the feelings and the thoughts... I am resisting myself and asking myself to to initiate any communication again, let me stop hurting myself with my own hands... I dun know whether I'll succeed in that or now... but I am sure my dignity will help me .. because I value it so much.
What if analysis is non stopping in my mind from yesterday... and I see all the roads are closed ...
So why I am thinking about it and revived it again ... I dun know .. and I am afraid of it..
I know I was quietly rejected before and I can't take any further risks with my heart and my pride...
But I miss the relation .. I miss the person .. I know this separation was going to happen one day ..but I always prayed it may not happen .. I was ok with having the person in my life.. regardless of the relation type... but I couldn't have that either....
Get out of my mind and soul peacefully please... enough what I had experienced... I know you think you are out already... but this is not the truth... I can't deny you made your part.... but I still didn't do mine...I wish I have the power to do it.
This proves that I can't complete my life without it.. because it's the only thing available to me all the time and will understand me like I am ...
Ok... Let me talk now about why do I feel like writing to my blog.
I discovered yesterday... that I have not been cured from the relation that has been terminated from 6 years.. yes 6 years.. I was shocked as well... Time flies and our life is consumed too quickly.
Let me confess that I still have feelings towards that person, I opened our chat logs yesterday, and like I opened Pandora's box ... I waked up the feelings and the thoughts... I am resisting myself and asking myself to to initiate any communication again, let me stop hurting myself with my own hands... I dun know whether I'll succeed in that or now... but I am sure my dignity will help me .. because I value it so much.
What if analysis is non stopping in my mind from yesterday... and I see all the roads are closed ...
So why I am thinking about it and revived it again ... I dun know .. and I am afraid of it..
I know I was quietly rejected before and I can't take any further risks with my heart and my pride...
But I miss the relation .. I miss the person .. I know this separation was going to happen one day ..but I always prayed it may not happen .. I was ok with having the person in my life.. regardless of the relation type... but I couldn't have that either....
Get out of my mind and soul peacefully please... enough what I had experienced... I know you think you are out already... but this is not the truth... I can't deny you made your part.... but I still didn't do mine...I wish I have the power to do it.
