Rolling Back.................. :)) Hopefully

"Rolling Back" this term is well known, I think especially for people who are working in the field of IT like me :D

But can we "Roll Back" that easy in our real lives, or as people say "Undo/ Ctrl+Z" our actions and the most hardest our feelings, I think that this is impossible or else live could have been much easier.

There is something else that I wish it was existing in the "Human's World", which is freezing, either to freeze on a happy moment the one is enjoying, freezing to keep with the company you like, freezing on the situation, the state of satisfaction and happiness the one's in at a certain moment.

Unrelated and unorganized thoughts that are coming into my mind, and there is much more, and I guess more important still in my mind, but still can't be translated into written lines :(((

The Happiest day in One's Life

Yesterday, I went to the cinema some of my friends from work. We were a little confused between 2 films, but one of our friends was totally against one of the 2 films and supporting the other one, so we went that other one.

My mind began thinking of a sentence that was said in the film of yesterday, that I am still thinking of till the current moment, the actress was saying that everytime she was upset she sits to see the sunrise, and hear it as if saying to hear "Have hope, still you didn't live the happiest day in your life".
From then, I've been asking myself: "Did I live the best day in my life or it's still coming", who knows, we can't answer this questions unless we've lived all our age that is written to us.

I kept dreaming of this day, how would I feel, what would happen to make me extremely happy?
and another question came to my mind: "Is it better to live in average happiness or to feel that EXTREME happiness?????????"
And, if that happiest day in my life already passed? which day was it ??????????????

Oh Allah, please fulfill all my dreams

yesterday I was enjoying work very much, generally starting from this week I became very happy at work because my dear friend Sue, moved her PC and began sitting beside me:)))

Suddenly at the evening my mood changed with no single reason for it to change and I became very upset, and began thinking of many things that worries me and makes me sad, and then I said to myself remember all the gifts you have from God, remember all what you have, or just remember how he saved your father to you and made the operation passes peacefully.

I made so with my mind, but internally I was still uncomfortable, and then a friend of mine came to my mind and I called her as she's travelling in a vaction and I missed her tOoOoO much, just hearing her voice on the phone saying "AlOoOoO", my mood was really changed 180 degress and I began laughing and joking with her, and there was another surprise to me which was our other friend was there too in a vacation my mind faked me and I really fealt as If I was there with them as their third companion and I enjoyed it too much

Then I began ordering my wardrobe, and I was singing many things, then all of a sudden I began Praying, asking God all what I want and not just asking but speaking and speaking loudly I was not just speaking with my my head but with my voice too, I felt relieved afterwards.

On waking up today I found an SMS from my travelling brother saying that he'd seen our mother (God Rests her Soul) giving him many cadeaux to give them to me, I felt then that it's a sign that all my wishes will be fulfilled ISA and my Prayers were heard (Ostegebat ISA)

I Came work today, to find my friends are abscent, but we phoned each others, and I am generally in a good mood I hope it stays for a long while
I hope all my prayers come true

Experience

Last Saturday (15/ 07/ 2006); I passed with a very unique and strange personal experience.
I've passed some moments in which I was dead of fear and worry. Minutes after I felt relieved and began laughing.
I've seen the people and how they were very supporting to us and how caring were they.
I've felt there love and care, they were competing in helping us.

Thank you all, and before all thanks and gratitude to my dear God, who saved us and was very near and merciful to us, and for showing us what do we mean to all these people around

Something Broken :(((

When you find yourself very clear and open and is telling all about yourself.And is confronted by someone who you considered yourself from the nearest people to her/him is hiding some facts from you and the most hurting is that that fact is known to other people, you get really shocked.

I don't know why I am getting all these shocks, or I am over sensetive or what. Especially, that in this case I am not able to change my mind and opinion on the character because it's really from the best characters I met ever in my life, but the case is in me, I am still not that close:((.

And that's my everlasting problem "Not THAT Close"

Till when...

Till when are my feelings still speak a language, that others fails to understand.
or speak words that others just don't want to hear:'(

Bored of Myself

I am bored of myself, whenever I get a step forward in social Intelligence, I get it backward again, resulting in no enhancements in my level.

When shall I be a normal person, who interacts with people in a normal way.

Is the defect in me or in people around me, I doubt that it's in people around me as for sure not all these people have the same defect. It seems that only the few close friends to me who are the superiors so that they were able in dealing with a very high maintenance people like me

Principles of Success- Becoming a Person of Integrity II

2 more things that I liked in this chapter:

• You can “fake it until you make It.”: because of the Law of Reversibility, if you act as if you had a particular feeling the action will generate the feeling consistent with it.
• You can become a superior human being by consciously acting exactly as the kind of person that you would most like to become.

Principles of Success- Becoming a Person of Integrity I

The Following is a Quote from the book:

"Napoleon Hill, in his book, The Master Key to Riches, tells about how he created an imaginary board of personal advisors made up of great figures of history. He chose people like Napoleon, Lincoln, Jesus, and Alexander the Great. Whenever he had to make a decision, he would relax deeply and then imagine that the members of his advisory council were sitting at a large table in front of him. He would then ask them what he should do to deal effectively with a particular situation. In time, they would begin to give him answers, observations, and insights that helped him to see more clearly and act more effectively."

I think that this is not a very helpful method, because WE WILL THINK, how would they react. and since there's an intervention from us, we will project our impression on them. and will put our finger print in the decision made

Principles of Success- Becoming a Person of Integrity

While reading this chapter of the book, I found the following Question:

"What are your five most important values in life?"

I kept thinking for few minutes and these were the things that popped up into my mind; for some values I found that they were more expressive in Arabic, so I wrote them in Arabic

1. AL-Sedk: I don't just mean saying the truth, but I mean being true in your feelings, in your love, in your will and everything
2. Al-7ob: Love, To love everyone(who deserves), and everything around you and to have peace with yourself and love it(not too much), only to the extent you can live with. Love your country, Love your Work, and Love the atmosphere in which you are living
3. Being there for those who needs you and expects you beside them
4. Tomo7: Always work on improving everything, your relation with people around you, your career, your shape ;), relation with God, knowing to sum it up, hope and work for increasing every tiny good thing in you or you want to achieve, and get rid and move away everything you hate about yourself or your living
5. Al Dema3' el Kbeera: Give excuses to others, as long as you are sure of other people's feelings towards you, then never suspect any action they do , if it appears to be bad to u, listen to them and forgive them, never lose a life time's love because of a misunderstanding that you could have passed.Always look to the big picture, and remember the long history, and ignore the tiny details, take people as they are, when they do something that upsets you, remeber that they are not devils, do not remember all their bad actions, remember their good ones as well, remember when thet stood by you, remember that they bared your bad actions as well

Please, Please, Please, anyone who reads this post, write me your top 5

values, if u have more than 5 write as much as u feel

Just to Complete what I've Started

From a long time, (actually not very long), I was planning to begin writing upon things that I agree or disagree with in an E-book that I was reading then that was entitled; Principles of Success.

And in hope of finishing what I've started I will resume my work in it

The Hell of taking a decision...

Although I hate hesitation very much, and I don't like those hesitated people, I have the sickness oh hesitation when it comes to big decisions, or at least those that I see them big at the time of taking the decision.

But what makes a decision big? that is the question. I know that in some cases it's easy to make a U turn and change your path, but even in this case it will not be a very easy decision. I always believed that the best decision is that that can be changed easy in sense that it's flexible and doesn't have great impacts.

In some cases we say what if the decision I made was not correct? It's not a big deal I can then leave what I have choosed and return to the other alternative, but the problem is that leaving a chosen way is not always easy and the other alternative(s) is/ are not always available and waiting for u to know that they were the best for u.

I've just seen a phrase today that I feeled very much; "Life is the art of drawing.. Without an eraser. So.. be careful what u draw".
But what I think is that although we don't have an eraser but we can make the line we made wrongly a stem for a new flower.
And I comfort myself by saying that it's fate more or less, as the poet said "Kotebat 3allyna 7'ottan f mashaynaha" or "It's steps that was wrote for us so we stepped them". But then I reply to myself that this doesn't mean that we don't have to think, but we should do our best in trying to find the best choice and make the optimum decision, but we shouldn't stress ourselves if we really did our best to investigate in the correctness of the decisions we are to make, because we are human, and human may make mistakes and that's normal and we shouldn't repent as long as we did our best in thinking.
But my problem is that period of thinking in which I try to do my best :)))
And another sound inside me that is the source of my worry, when I try to comfort myselfy, it comes up and ruins all comfort: "What if u made ur life a series of wrong decisions?". A very pessimistic sound. isn't it?

I am very confused, tired and thus very sad :(((