Why do I act like this ?
Why do I deeply want to do something and involuntary act the opposite way?
Why do I reject the act I am doing at the time of doing it... but stop still, and make nothing of what I think should be done instead ?
Why do I complicate it while it's just very easy?
Why do I think a lot ?
Why do I make it hard on myself?
Everytime I say I'll change... take it easy... just be YOU... but why at these moments I just feel a mask is sticked on my face by force... I try hardly to take it off... but I just fail to.
And when it passes, I then begin thinking and thinking and thinking... how could I make over for this... but I guess it's never the same, at least for me because I keep on judging myself for the action that SHOULD have been done... but I wasn't able to... and this dilemma never reaches to an end... plus.. making over is MADE while the original one would have been natural and nicer... :S
very weird... I know all that... but just can't help myself
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