My Dear Sister ... I Love U :))

On your very special day, I wanna tell you I love u. Not the classic clache I love you, but I really mean it in every way.

I love you as you are because you also accept me as I am...

I love being your sister ... I am blessed with such a kind hearted sister ... and I am thankful for that bless. Although we quarrel a lot :)) but even these things I love as well.

I really wish you all the good things, because when u're blessed and happy .. I feel the same as you and even more ... and when you're down .. I feel it worse and I am deadly worried about you.

May this year carry to U and accordingly to me all the peace of mind, Mercy from God ... Satisfaction, success and dreams turning into reality AMEEN (F)

P.S: I am writing this ... because I wanted to tell you that I care to show you my feelings in every way I have. And to tell you that you are loved. And to tell you that you're making a BIG and HUGE and Beautiful difference in our life. 

And why especially this year :)) because I am turning into a mature girl now ... that learnt to appreciate every feeling she has and learnt the importance of expressing it. And learnt that this is the least thing we can do to the people we love ... is to show them what do they really mean to US

Simple things

Simple things are what really matter ... and I just find my mood is very affected by these simple things all the time.
I am grateful for the simple thing of the day :) it made me happy :))

Nothing Specefic =)

Other than any Post, I've posted here. I am just writing now with nothing specfic in mind. I just felt that I missed my blog, I felt it has been too long since I've posted anything here .. although I have more than a draft... but just was not completed... and  their feelings are gone now.. so they'll not be completed .. at least at the time being.
Briefing on the previous period .. the last 4 months .. I've been passing through very hard and tough time as my dear father was seriously ill... but thanks god ... hopefully things are getting stable ISA.

I saw some of my friends today .. and that made a difference el 7amdu lellah .. I really missed them a lot and is still missing the others... but unfortunately =( some dun excuse me for not being able to go out and meet them.




Ramadan is approaching, it's less than a week and we'll be there iSA ... ALLAHOMA bale3'na Ramadan and Laylat el Kadr ISA. 
But I still can't feel the spirit of Ramadan... I hope I can be spiritually connected soon and deeply.
Waiting for salat el taraweee7 :))

It's all about hope

New year ... why is it that remarkable ?!!! I had a thought today .. that this year called 2009 that all people are judging these days, is just a part of me, a part of my life time in this world, experiences that are gone, and may never come again, but will leave their effects whether consciously or not.
2009 or whatever the name was, is just a grouping for some days in my life. I may choose to go with all people, and make my new start at this day, or just in any other time I would choose.
And most probably, I would choose the day I was born on from every year for that new start and self evaluation.
2009 is not good or bad, same is for: 2010, 2011, 20** ! It's just a part of my journey in this world, carrying a collection of events, fate, successes failures, that will sum up to make the person I am to be by the end of my life.
And by every year I am coming closer to the person I was meant to be in this life.
Just, we're trying to take a happy path, to end a peaceful end.
It's all about hope, hoping that the coming part of our lives are better.
Happy New Portion of Our Lives =)

حماقة عشرة أعوام

يوم الأحد الماضى كنت فى حى الزمالك أقوم بمشوار ما. كنت ذاهبة مع واحدة من صديقاتى و لكنى كنت عائدة بمفردى إلى مصر الجديدة حبيبتى. كنت فى حالة مزاجية قلما تأتى ... أغلقت زجاج سيارتى الا جزء صغير يسمح بتجديد الهواء و استمريت فى غناء كثير من الأغانى و الاعلانات التى علقت بذهنى من قديم و حديث و سعيد و حزين ... فالمشوار من الزمالك لمصر الجديدة لا يأخذ وقت قصير

و لكن الغريب أن هناك أغنية فكرت بها بطريقة لم تخطر ببالى من قبل و هى أغنية كاظم التى كنت استمع لها و أنا فى الثانوى و هى

إلا أنتى

اشهد الا امرأة أتقنت اللعبة إلا أنتى و احتملت حماقة عشرة أعوام كما احتملتى

و اصطبرت على جنونى مثل ما صبرتى و قلمت أظافرى و رتبت دفاترى

و أدخاتنى روضة الأطفال الا أنتى

يااااااااااااااااه حماقة عشرة أعوام ؟!!!!!!!!! أصلا يا ترى على ماذا تشتمل كلمة حماقة ؟

هل كان يعرف أخريات و يتركها .... و يتذكرها فقط عندما تفشل قصصه هذه ؟

هل كانت أخر اهتماماته بينما كان كل اهتمامتها ؟

هل كان يفعل ذلك عن قصد ام فقط لجهله بمشاعرها ؟

و أخيرا يا ترى ما هو الشىء الذى أفاقه بعد عشرة سنوات ؟

و بالنسبة لها .... من أين اتت بكل هذه القدرة على الاحتمال .... من المؤكد انها كانت تأتيها لحظات من الضعف و اليأس و الاحباط و لكن من المؤكد أيضا ان مشاعرها كانت أكبر و أفوى من ذلك كله... من المؤكد ان كان لديها أمل يكفى العالم أجمع . أو ربما أنها كانت سعيدة بهذه المشاعر الرقيقة التى بداخلها و ترغب فى الاحتفاظ بها لانها جعلتها تكتشف أنها من الممكن ان تعطى كل هذا العطاء

و يا ترى كيف كان شعورها و هى تسمع هذه الكلمات التى فى الأغنية ... هل شعرت بالسعادة ام أن الوقت قد فات ... و لديها الأن حالة من الاستغناء ... أو ربما خشيت على مشاعرها الرقيقة من حماقات أخرى ؟ لا نعلم ... فام يخبرنا كاظم بهذا

وصلت مصر الجديدة و انتهيت من مشوارى ولكن استمر سؤال يروادنى: هل يجب على أحد ان يتحمل حماقة عشرة أعوام حتى يقترب من أحبائه ؟ أم انها سعادة ياهظة الثمن النفسى ؟

!!!وجدتنى بعدها أقول: تعبت و تستاهل

Text of Steve Jobs' Commencement address (2005)

Text of Steve Jobs' Commencement address (2005)

Posted using ShareThis

Known Bugs

It appears that I never learn, or let me be more fair, I haven't succeeded till now to learn certain lessons.

The thing that annoys me the most, is that I can from the very begining detect that I am doing what I've discovered that it didn't work before, and I just keep on going in the same way with even the same steps. May be the only differenece is that I am watching myslef. but still a passive watching as I can't stop myself and redirect to the expected path that I am supposed to be taking.

I can't get that Quote for Einstein out of my mind: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.". YES, that's exactly what I am doing which means.. that I am INSANE.

Will I ever learn these lessons ?!! will I ever be more sain ... when... I hope it won't be too late then... Plus that I am really too tired of these roads that lead to no where. And I am afraid that I lost hope in me ... I'll be that current me ... no progress in certain areas... they appear to be a known bugs for me =(.

Indifference

I think that I've finally reached that state of indifference that I was seeking from a long time. But have not been persistent on really reaching it.

I've thought about it a lot and took my decision based upon facts and deeds or misdeeds that have been happening during the past period.

I used to be wondering about the reason behind that weird behavior from some person's side and I kept telling myself... OK I dun want us to be as we once used to be ... But at least I need to understand the reason behind that change.
now I dun care... I am only concerned about the results and the weird behavior and that the change has happened already... and I need to deal with it and get over all the questions that were in mind

And from now on I will be the person in control. I dun mean that I'll control anyone, but at least I'll be controlling myself and will not allow anybody to control me and my mood.

I'll not be that reactive person I once used to be. I'll never be upsetted from any misdeed and I'll never expect something good from that person, if we were to know eachothers again in the first place. And if by mistake something good happened I'll never be happy with it.
I'll not let my mood be sitting on a swing that someone else is controlling all the time.

That person has been moved to the indifference zone, that zone that takes no place neither in my heart nor in my mind.
That zone that's only available as long as the circumstances put that person in my way, and will be cleared as long as that person is away.

Exactly like sitting beside someone in the bus, you may never talk , you may just say hello, and even if you talk with that person a friendly talk, you'll forget everything as soon as you reach your station or that person's leaves.

I am really happy of that state... thank god that I've reached it finally.

Need a Vacation

It's not an ordinary vacation that I need. I need a special and different one, I need a vacation from my whole life, and I dun mean to pause on the current status just to take rest. And I dun mean a change. And I dun need all these typicals.
I need to take my mind out of my head... that's the meant vaction, mean while.. life moves on ... towards a better state.
I want to disable ally my feeling and thinking features. all my senses... all these needs a vcation.

Is this is possible...??!!!

I know it's not... but I have faith in (إنَّما أمرُهُ إذا أرادَ شيئًا أن يقولَ لَهُ كُنْ فَيَكون)

miss U dearest

Can't say anything. I feel that I've said all the words before, has been through the same feelings since then, they are not new .. just they are getting stronger and harder and I miss you more dear ...
may God Rest your Soul and peace, and gather us again in Paradise ISA.
Can't end this post.. as I feel that I am with you now while I am sending this post... I feel I am talking to you...
But I dun want to get my feelings out here... that will be so hard... and I know you'll not be happy knowing that I feel these feelings.

my Dear Blog... I Love U =)

I am here writing this post to you my dear blog. I really Love you, Love how you help me calrify my thoughts and see them infront of me, Love you for bearing my non-sense at times, and above all I love you for being there for me all the time.

I am you and you're me and we're one. My thoughts create your body, and you never forget a single word that I tell you, and Also thank you for devoting yourself to me.

People used to say that a Book is the best friend, but I would like to say that a Blog is even better, as a book is talking all the time like a wise friend that always gives advises, but my blog hears me just as a friend keep listening to whatever I say and never get bored and never stops me, and without it saying a single world I feel better everytime I talk to it.

Thank you my Dearest Blog (L)

TEN... Part I

There, on a beautiful lake, that has a very clear water, and a very freshening air. Lives Ibrahim's small family the carpenter of the town who's at the age of 38, his wife Sarah who is 27 years old who used that sews clothes to her neighbors , and their daughter Mariam who was at the age of 10.
It was by the end of the spring, and the begining of the summer, when Mariam was playing infront of the house with her bicycle she heard her mum screaming and when she run into the house to see what's up with her mum. She founds her father helping her to get and go to the car.

A couple of days afterwards, returns Ibrahim, Sarah and Mariam with the new family member Adam.
Adam didn't show any special interest to any of his small family members, except for Mariam his sister, ok he calms down and feels safe in his parents arms... but the only one whom Adam follows by his eyes was his elder sister Mariam.
After the first BD to Mariam that Adam celebrated with them. Adam began not to have that special interest in his sister any more.
Adam began not to play with his sister whatever her trials was, only when she nudges him to let him laugh, he laughs but keep wondering around as if trying to find who's playing with him.
His family began to get worried, his mother was sad that her child never notices her, as any child of his age does, and the same for the confused father, and especially after the period he stopped following his sister with her eyes and smiling and waving to her became long.
They began suspecting his vision, and after some investigations, they knew that he can see quite well.
And here their wonder bego grow more and more