UnFoRgEtTaBlE Whens

When we're interested in someone, we begin focusing on the very small details of our contact, the conversations, the minutes we're together even if we were silent. We begin recording those precious moments in our mind. and begin recalling them with their finest details and very accurately every now and then, just to retain those feelings of the real time we had together.

Even if what we recalled was not a happy memory, it's just precious enough because it connects us in a way with the people we care for.

Dream Control

I wish I had one; to control what makes me happy, and mute those dreams that unfilfilling them makes me feel that bad, especiallay when I've nothing to do with fulfilling them.

The Others

The Others are playing a very Important Role in our life. The Others are the people whom we care for, we fear, hate, respect, follow or avoid. But we are directed by the OTHERS, they may get the worst out of us, may let us discover the real Human we are, and complete the missing puzzle of ourselves and in times put the pieces of that puzzle in good order, to make a better picture.



The point that's annoying me is when I lose control of a relationship, I approach when the OTHERS only want the relationship to go on, and withdraw myself from their lives when they just are not showing their interest. Although the true feelings are always there, but the bond at some times very loose, and at times too tight. I am just tired of the extremes.

It's just that we can't live without the "Others"

The only Non-Renewable Love

"... Love returned in the form of another man, new hopes, and new dreams"

Quoted from By the River Piedra I sat Down and Wept

When I first read that Quoted line, it stuck in my mind, and I kept thinking of it, I felt it true in most of the cases, (where man means Human whether woman or a man, in all kinds of relationships)

But then I realized, there are such special relations and special ones that are neither replaceable, nor that kind of relationship is renewable, its only 1 of its kind through all of our life

And those that hurts the most, and those that we miss the most, just we'll keep their empty place in our hearts, through the rest of our lives, recalling the minutes we enjoyed together, and seeking all the strength from those special minutes in our lives, that are gone and are never back.

All and "WhatEver"

Last Tuesday, I went to the yearly "Book Fair" with my friends, although some were not interested in reading but we were all very enthusistic about going to the fair... Just Going.
There, I was eager to search for all Kinds of Books in the Ares that I like to read about, and so was my friends that are also intersted in readings.... Different Tastes, Different Interests.... Variation in our enthusiasm...
I looked at the people there, and I was like "What all these minds that are there", I say so because people were looking for kinds of books that I never touched... or even thought about reading, I felt then how different is people intersts and thinking...
Then on that thought, and on buying a set of books, I felt like "I wanna do nothin now but read 'em all"... I also know that this enthusiasm will be down shortly, for me and most of the people that went to the fair, and that the "Enthusiasm for Reading", we currently have as if it's the "Culturual Season" is soon going to end.
Because, why don't we have this sense except in that period of the year, I believe it's because, all people are doing the same thing at the same time... that's the idea "Uniting and gathering around whatever ".
This what happened last year in the African Nations Cup, the people whether were soccer lovers or not all gathered and all had the same spirit.
And many other Examples are just over there everywhere

Uni- WHATEVER

Today, I went to the yearly "Book Fair" with my friends, although some were not interested in reading but we were all very enthusistic about going to the fair... Just Going.

There, I was eager to search for all Kinds of Books in the Ares that I like to read about, and so was my friends that are also intersted in readings.... Different Tastes, Different Interests.... Variation in our enthusiasm...

I looked at the people there, and I was like "What all these minds that are there", I say so because people were looking for kinds of books that I never touched... or even thought about reading, I felt then how different is people intersts and thinking...

Then on that thought, and on buying a set of books, I felt like "I wanna do nothin now but read 'em all"... I also know that this enthusiasm will be down shortly, for me and most of the people that went to the fair, and that the "Enthusiasm for Reading", we currently have as if it's the "Culturual Season" is soon going to end.

Because, why don't we have this sense except in that period of the year, I believe it's because, all people are doing the same thing at the same time... that's the idea "Uniting and gathering around whatever ".

This what happened last year in the African Nations Cup, the people whether were soccer lovers or not all gathered to

Rain

Recall your feelings before it Rains

Recall how doubtful and uncertain your steps were

and Finally, It rains... heavily

Your ears are hearing the drops falling very clearly

Your eyes are seeing those colourless dotted lines surrounding you

You were Too cautious not to fall while it's raining

Finally, the rain stopped.

Leaving the scene around u very clear

you can now see everything and clearly...

but where r those things that there were there before the rain ?

I kept looking around and looking for too long, not looking for them

I knew they went away, I felt so while it's raining

It's just I am looking and trying to live in the scene without it

Thank God that it rained .... But it rained so "HEAVILY"

Never the Same

I am missing it all, it's never the same, it became just a shallow of what it used to be there before.
I can't bear missing it anymore, I can't imagine the thought of going any further.

Facts

What are facts are...It's said that a fact is:

- Something that never changes.

- may be, something tangible that we can sense by our 5 senses

- Something that was assumed to be like this, and nobody, and nothing has proved its contrary

or, proved that's wrong.

But, I think (The fact is that there is no fact...), or I think there is nothing called fact.

We're never sure, intuition works on and on, all the times and in all directions, but we are never sure.

If for example, we observed what is thought a fact is, we'll find that there is nothing that does not change, a child grows or dies, love can grow or vanish, nothing is static.

Also, a belief that's believed to be right for decades, may just kept its validity, because it's not the time yet, to reveal that we're mistaken.

People died thinking that the earth is flat, just because their time on earth, was over before that Info is discovered, and they believed in the so called "FACT" that's saying that earth is flat.

We just only wish that our good meanings of life are facts, or constants, it's just a wish... no more, it may happen and it may not

External dependancy

"External dependency is being dependant on an external object or a person in order to feel good or escape a bad mood."

I am afraid that I am an external dependent person, my happiness and mood is highly affected by a good deed someone does to me, or a bad deed that I am shocked with.

It's not the normal effect, but it's very deep. That's why sometimes I feel like sheltering into my own shell, not being isolated from the external environment, but just shutting down my feelings system and living.

"Colourless turtle", that was once the behaviour that I found similar to my attitude, the turtle is very self dependent, it has its own shell portable with it in everywhere available to it in every moment, the only difference is that I made this shell colourless or transparent, so that I keep on feeling with the surroundings and get out of my shell, when it's time to, and the people who worth leaving my shell are there; too close.

But, I should make my shell, a very good place, and learn how to be happy staying in it.

Complexity

I feel that we 'PEOPLE', enjoy complicating our lives these days. It's not that life itself became complex, but we decided that it couldn't complete that simple as it used to be, even just 1 decade ago.

I sometimes think that people in the past had lots to do, for their daily life routine, so they hadn't enough time to complicate their lives, but we have delegated some of our daily routine tasks to the machines and dedicated that time to thinking, thinking and then "Sinking in the Over-Thinking".

Or may be we just are affected with the things around us, and so we became more complex like the machines that we have invented.

Each of us now should have a Manual, describing how they think, how they interpret things, when do you know that they are happy. when do you know that they are sad, when do you know that they need help, but they are just refusing to ask for it, and even more... they refuse to get it if it happened that you understood their complex formula, and understood that they are currently passing by a hard time.

We are making it very hard on ourselves, and our companions, just enjoying and competing "Look, How complex I am... no one can ever understands me"!!!!!!!!!

http://www.2knowmyself.com/

That is a URL for a site that I spend much time STUDYING its contents with so much interest, since the day a friend of mine has told me about.

I find it's too real, it explains to me why I sometimes behave in a certain manner, and I felt happy and having a clearer interpretation for my deeds.
I generally like all the things that helps me strengthen the connection and clarifies the messages sent to me by my inner me.